Reality gets in the way of plans. For us, it was when I found out I was pregnant the day after we got home from Belize. At 44. For a while, we’d dreamed about having a baby together, which was a different kind of fantastical dream that manifested out of grief. But after three pregnancies and three miscarriages, we finally let go of that dream. We were getting too old and too worn down from the hormonal and emotional ups and downs of pregnancies and miscarriages. So instead, we would dream of launching our teens and be a couple, unencumbered by middle-of-the-night feedings, child-proofing, and school schedules. For a while, we figured this pregnancy would soon end in a miscarriage as well. But I was still pregnant at eight weeks, at 11 weeks, at 20 weeks. This was a big adjustment because we’d both become attached to Belize and that dream. How would this pregnancy affect our fantastical dream?
Adventures in awesomnacity